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  • #16
    Originally posted by GaryZ View Post
    I lost my brother a few years ago. My only sibling. A phone call from the police about 2am asking me to identify the body. We were not close. But, it still was a shock. I am sorry for your loss.
    Thanks Gary. We didn't expect for him to pass so quickly so I know what you mean.
    Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by oldgreykaw View Post
      You never know how much you will miss someone until they are gone.
      Heartbreaking truth.


      Originally posted by oldgreykaw View Post
      He was told he could have a year or two when he was diagnosed and instead it was just a few weeks.
      Same with my wife; we thought we'd have a long goodbye... and then suddenly we didn't.



      Originally posted by oldgreykaw View Post
      Please guys, let your loved ones know how much they mean to you.
      ... and realize that 'loved ones' includes people well beyond your relatives. I know that loss has made me less filtered in this respect, and rather regretful that I didn't get it before.



      Thank you, Sammy, for letting us share your loss and appreciate your loud brother's quiet goodness. People like him add a lot of texture to life, and leave unexpected large holes when they are gone.
      How To Cheat on Personality Tests
      1. When asked for word associations or comments about the world, give the most conventional, run-of-the-mill, pedestrian answer possible.

      2. To settle on the most beneficial answer to any question, repeat to yourself:
      (a) I loved my father and my mother, but my father a little bit more.
      (b) I like things pretty well the way they are.
      (c) I never worry much about anything.
      (d) I don't care for books or music much.
      (e) I love my wife and children.
      (f) I don't let them get in the way of company work.
      From <cite>The Organization Man</cite> by William Hollingsworth Whyte, 1956

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      • #18
        So sorry to hear of your loss. Lost my brother at 63 to pancreatic cancer.
        After spending so many years in Cali it was good to get back east where all my family is.
        sigpic

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        • #19
          Originally posted by reidmct View Post

          Heartbreaking truth.




          Same with my wife; we thought we'd have a long goodbye... and then suddenly we didn't.





          ... and realize that 'loved ones' includes people well beyond your relatives. I know that loss has made me less filtered in this respect, and rather regretful that I didn't get it before.



          Thank you, Sammy, for letting us share your loss and appreciate your loud brother's quiet goodness. People like him add a lot of texture to life, and leave unexpected large holes when they are gone.
          Thank you Reid. I honestly don't know what I would do if I lost my wife and my heart aches terribly for you. I do take some comfort in knowing that he didn't suffer and waste away for a year more.
          Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.

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          • #20
            Sorry to hear about your loss. Your story particularly got me thinking as well as apparently many others.
            sigpic

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            • #21
              We laid my brother and my mother to rest yesterday. It has been over thirty years since I had been to the Beggs, OK. cemetery. I went a couple of hours early to dig the holes for the urns to go into. The directions the town clerk gave weren't very good (I did know that it was on the west side). I pulled up where I had a vague memory of my grandfather's funeral (1987) and started looking around, after about 20 minutes I decided to go back to the north end and just work my way back south. Forty five minutes later I found my grandparents graves about ten yards south of where I had originally parked.
              My mom's brother had passed away about ten years ago and their sister had his ashes buried there. His headstone was directly in front of Grandma's. When I saw it I almost started crying, you see he loved Hot Rod Chevy's and he loved to sing (did I mention he was my favorite uncle? ) His headstone has a big "bowtie" with his name and the dates in it and there is a musical scale on one corner and checkered flags on the other.
              So now I set about digging the two holes which are supposed to be 1' x 1' x 2' deep. The Town clerk said they could do it for $300 or we could do it ourselves. As I get to the bottom of the first hole I hit concrete "sorry grandma" and as I was finishing the second hole I encountered my uncle's urn . I figured at that point it was a good time to take a break. So I went for a drive around the little town that many of my relatives have and still do live in.
              My mom moved to Beggs (about forty miles south and west of Tulsa) when her and my dad divorced in the early seventies. My sisters lived with my mom and my brothers and I lived with our dad. I would spend holidays and parts of the summer in Beggs as a child wandering all over. I had my first job there at the age of nine. They were tearing down the old high school and building a new one. The bricklayers paid me and another kid two dollars a stack (six bricks in a square two feet high) to clean the old mortar off of them. I guess I learned about capitalism at an early age, hell we were probably the only kids in town that had "two nickels to rub together" as the old saying goes. Anyway, I found the duplex my mom lived in all those years ago and the grocery store still looks the same but the two blocks between them sure seemed a lot farther back then.
              So I returned to the cemetery a half hour before the service was supposed to start and pretty soon folks started showing up. It was mostly family BUT there were at least thirty people there and that is pretty good in the year 2020. It was a nice service, the pastor was a friend of my sister's who owns a BBQ joint where a number of us went for dinner after it was over. As is typical my 50 year old younger sister was late and actually got an ass chewing by my 83 year old father afterwards.
              Growing up I never thought that it would fall on me to have to take care of these sort of things in my family and honestly after my mom passed I thought I was done but we all have our lots in life and I guess mine could be a whole lot worse. It'll be funny if someone asks me what I did this weekend; my response will be: Oh you know, the usual, I had to dig a couple of graves.
              Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives.

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